Taking the Next Step

Deciding when to take the next difficult step in a relationship and determining when to move in with each other is a challenging decision to make. I wish I could say that there is a specific time period or rule that I could give in regard to this. However I can’t say that everyone should always wait a certain number of months before taking this step. Prior to moving in together, you will benefit from understanding what it is that you want, and using this to help guide you to make your decision. You may also benefit from analyzing how you feel about the relationship. However this can be a slippery slope if you are making this decision early on in a relationship.

In the early phases of a relationship, people are often very excited about the relationship. They find the other person very attractive. They may be enjoying having sex with this person. All of this excitement is great, but it can impact your ability to make a solid decision regarding whether or not you should move in with your partner. If there is a time where you are more likely to be vulnerable to make a poor decision in regards to moving in with your partner, it is the first three months of the relationship.

I recommend that prior to taking this big step, make sure that you enjoy the time you are spending with the other person. Although this sounds like common sense, many people will move in with another person thinking that this will improve a relationship that is not going that well. To help you determine whether or not you can tolerate the more consistent presence of the other person, you might slowly increase the amount of time that you are spending with your partner. If you have few problems, you could then increase the amount of time a little bit more.

It is also important to know the intention of moving in. Is it to spend the rest of your life with this person? Is it to save money? Is it to have a sexual partner? Is it for a combination of these things? Knowing exactly why you want to take this step is important in helping you decide whether or not to follow through with this.

If you get along well and you think that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, you might talk about engagement. If you do not want to get married, you might set a date that is a few months down the road before you talk further about engagement and notice if there are any negative changes in your relationship. If your relationship continues in a positive direction, and you successfully increase the amount of time you are spending with your partner with few problems, then you might be ready to take that next big step.

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