6 New Years Resolution Ideas for Authenticity, Romance, and Sexual Satisfaction
Updated December 29th, 2017
It’s that time of year again. New Years resolutions are likely to be a center of focus again. Although New Years resolutions usually reflect goals surrounding diet, fitness, and career, you can set goals for your relationship, levels of sexual connection, or romantic happiness. You can also set goals of self-acceptance and the acceptance of others. Here are some ideas to help get you started at this time of year.
- Open up with yourself about your sexuality. Ask yourself what you want. Identify how you would like to express this. If you’re in a relationship, think of ways that would enhance your sexual experience. Maybe you want to try something new. Or maybe you just need to communicate with your partner about what you need and want. If you’re unclear about what you sexually want, you can embrace exploration. Open up with yourself about fantasies, and ask yourself how you and your partner can explore these together.
- Practice mindfulness. Many clients aren’t that clear on how important the body-mind connection actually is. They respond to emotions that begin in the body, but don’t realize that this is what they’re responding to. This can hurt self-esteem, relationships, and authentic self-expression. Mindful awareness of your body can help with this process. Begin to practice more mindful exploration of what your “gut” is telling you.
- Increased self-acceptance for LGBTQ people. If you’re lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or unsure, use the following year to learn about yourself and practice increased self-acceptance. If you feel very grounded in self-acceptance, find out ways that you can support others. This can be an important process for those who are still traveling their journey of authenticity. Remember that this is a very individual thing to go through. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to feel ready to come out. However, you might discover what the next step is for you. Look for people to support you, no matter where you’re at on your journey. Also, look for those subtle ways that you might put others in the community down. Use this as an opportunity to grow in yourself by supporting others. This includes Queer, Transgender, and Bisexual people who are often ignored, prejudged, and disrespected.
- Identify what would increase sexual happiness. However, avoid never-ending constructs. Many people put “happiness” constructs way out in front of them. So far in front of them, they can’t be reached. Find smaller goals that will improve on how you feel about yourself and life. This is a process, and it takes time. It’s also not as fun as dreaming about that distant, giant goal. But it’s more practical as well.
- If you’re list of secrets is growing, shorten it. We all have some secrets. However, there is a line where this becomes hurtful and disconnecting. If you’re keeping secrets about your sex life, sexuality, or self, find ways to begin walking back into more open authenticity. There’s great risk in this, but this can help you to connect as well.
- If you’re living with sexual dysfunction, work on it. Sexual dysfunction is one of those things that many want to avoid or procrastinate. It can cause serious levels of shame, but also serious problems with relationships as well. Use this year as a time to work on these issues. Sex should be fun and have flow to it. Not a sea of never ending challenges, pain, or frustration. This might mean participating in sex therapy, finding a pelvic floor therapist, or urologist can be a great first step.
This time of year comes with all kinds of pressure. People feel pulled in many different directions. New Years resolutions can add to this sense of pressure. Part of this is because they can be standard, typical, and even boring. Rather than fall into this, you can focus your attention on goals that may inspire you. In fact, you could walk away from 2018 feeling more happy in your life.
