Finding Time for Sex During the Holidays

The holidays can be a great time to reconnect, and enjoy the company of loved ones. However, they can also be filled with stress. Sometimes the stress is to the point of self-sacrifice. Such sacrifice can lead to neglecting your relationship, especially sexually. When it comes to sex, this time of year is not only about giving your time and energy to others. You deserve to make time for yourself.

The holidays are for the children… and you too.

For many people, Christmas season becomes a time where children become the focus. It is exciting to see them tear into gifts to see what is wrapped under the paper. The joy and the anticipation of this can take center stage, and the spotlight is likely to wander away from you. In fact many people give this spotlight up at other times of the year. This can come at a serious cost to you and your romantic relationship.

Renowned author and sex expert Esther Perel has a quote that sums this selflessness up. She says that “sex makes babies, so it’s ironic that babies deliver such a fatal erotic blow.” When children come into the picture, holidays can be exciting, but they can be exhausting as well. It is important to make time for yourself and your relationship. This is no easy task, so use the help of others as it is offered. And don’t be afraid to ask for help when it is not.

Set solid boundaries.

Many times, there are holiday gatherings and events throughout the month of December, and even sometimes into January. Remind yourself that you might have to say “no” to these events. People might feel disappointed, but you and your family take priority. You can’t expect others to recognize your need to connect in your relationship. They are simply inviting because they want you to attend. You can’t do everything. Prioritize which ones you want to participate in, and accept that there others that you can’t go to.

Give the gift of sexual exploration.

Is there some sexual fantasy that you and your partner have had, but never engaged in? Or is there some sexual activity that you used to enjoy that you haven’t made time for in awhile? What a great Christmas gift! Make it a priority to bring this back into your bedroom. Or outside of it…

Make a pre-holiday mini getaway.

Thinking that you don’t have the time? Re-read the paragraph on boundaries. It’s important to make time. This could be before Christmas, or it could be before the New Year. Rent a hotel room. Relax and enjoy each other. Focus on reconnecting, and fine time for sexual connection.

Finding time for sex can be tough all year long. The holiday season can be one of the worst times for this. It’s important to set aside time to connect yourself to your partner. Remember that no one else will do this. Also know that it can be uncomfortable to say “no” to people when they are being generous. In knowing your limits and the importance of your relationship, you’re stepping into the new year with connection as the most important priority.


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