Valentine’s Day can be a lot of fun for many people. However, for those who aren’t in relationships, days such as this can bring a great deal of shame. If you’re single at this time of the year, you can walk away feeling as if there is something wrong with you, and this day is validation of this. This doesn’t have to be this way.
The following tips can help you feel less shameful about your relationship status at a time such as this.
1. Know what you’re actually feeling regarding this day and take responsibility for it. Many times, when we’re in shame, we blame, gossip, and criticize others. Instead, accept what you’re feeling, whether it be loneliness, frustration, or resentment. These are tough emotions to accept and own, but if you do, at least you’ll know what you’re dealing with. This also makes it so that you can work through it, rather than push the feelings away.
2. Find another person to spend time with. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a romantic affair. Instead, find a friend and do something enjoyable. This can help you remember why you’re enough to those who are already in your life.
3. Talk about it. When we’re struggling with shame-based emotions, we need support. However, many times we keep this silent, rather than talk openly about it. Share how you’re feeling with someone who you trust, and you’ll likely be surprised that you’re not alone in this.
4. Know what makes you worthy of love. A big reason why holidays such as Valentine’s Day seem as important as they do is because of comparison. We compare our love lives with all of those around us. We use this as a scale to measure how loveable and worthy we are. Identify what makes you worthy of love, so you can ground to this in these moments.
5. Practice gratefulness. Sounds patronizing, but it’s hard to remember to practice gratitude when you’re going through a tough time. What do you have in your life that you’re grateful for? You’ll be amazed at how much this can help to cope with a difficult time such as this.
6. Set a goal for tomorrow. Valentine’s day is just one day. It can be tricky to remember this, but if you set a goal for the next day, it makes it easier to remember. Find something that is achievable that you’ve always wanted to do, and start working on your plan to get it done.
7. Stay away from the “why’s?” Self-analysis can be extremely powerful. However, if you’re in a vulnerable situation, the analysis of yourself can be extremely critical and judgmental. It’s best to hold off on breaking this down until you’re in a little more comfortable place.
Although it’s marketed as a day of blissful happiness, Valentine’s Day can be tough for a lot of people. However, by making some simple changes to your approach you can get through this day, without it tearing away at your worth in the process.