Not all realizations about the situation that you are in or where you are at in your life will be painful. However, sometimes, when looking back, our defense mechanisms lower enough that we realize how things really were. This can be an enormous let down. A flood of sadness can come in. In these times, it’s understandable that you would want to hide, run, or try to put these emotions back where they used to be. The problem is that they won’t easily fit back into that space, and you don’t want them go away either.

While we grow up, sometimes we’ll normalize things that weren’t normal, justify the unjustifiable, and recreate what really happened. Although this look back on your life can be painful, it can also be a space for serious growth. The realizations that things were how they were can be followed with a realization that you were a worthy child, you are a worthy human being, and that you are more resilient than you know.

This is why I encourage you to dip your toes in that sad place for just a bit to see what is there. If you fear that you might fall in, or you feel like you already have fallen in too deep, then talking with a therapist can really help you through this. Although it will be uncomfortable at times, you’ll know what stung you to begin with. You’ll also have the antidote to treat it as well.


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