Assumptions can ruin relationships. When you assume or say to yourself that you “think” that you have an answer that you don’t have, you inevitably will fill in blanks with negative things. You may draw conclusions without any legitimate proof, which will create resentment towards your partner. There is a simple solution to this, which can prevent serious long-term consequences. If you say something, or ask about what you are concerned about, you will prevent yourself from getting upset without facts. You will also prevent having your partner become the scapegoat for what is going on in your own mind. As a result, you will be taking full responsibility for your emotions, and your thoughts, which can promote intimacy, closeness, and negotiation, rather than resentment.

Therefore, when you catch yourself filling in spaces of missing information from your partner, say something about it. Don’t fall into the trap of sitting silently and making assumptions. This proactive strategy gives you information, which will prevent you from taking your frustration out on your partner.

Being reactive is an easy trap to fall into. It’s much less complicated to mindlessly get caught up in what you don’t know, rather than to make sense of what you do know. If you are someone who finds yourself guilty of this, the chance of improvement for your relationship is largely influenced on whether or not you change your patterns. This will give you important information about what you are wondering about. Only then will you have something legitimate to work with. You’ll have facts, and not just superimposed assumptions.


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