3 Keys on How to Discuss Your Low Sex Drive with Your Partner
When you have a low sex drive, for whatever reason, it’s important to talk to your partner about it. Openness can influence how your partner responds to a lack of sexual intimacy in your relationship.
If you simply tell your partner you aren’t interested in sex, they might start to feel as though something is wrong with your relationship—or wrong with them.
So talking about why you feel the way you do, and working on ways you can overcome the issue can strengthen your bond. It can also help you get to the bottom of why you’re dealing with a lower sex drive in the first place, too.
With that in mind, let’s look at three ways to productively talk to your partner about your lower sex drive.
1. Start with the Right Approach
Communication is key in any relationship. But this is especially true when it comes to something as vulnerable as your sex life. How you approach this conversation with your partner is essential to determine how they might react.
Don’t open up the conversation on the defensive. Trying to justify the way you feel as though you’ve done something wrong isn’t going to help. Additionally, make sure you don’t blame your partner for any of it. If you haven’t had sex in a while, chances are they may already be feeling some shame or guilt.
Instead, use “I” statements to emphasize how you feel, what’s going on, and what you want to do about it. As long as you’re open and honest, it’s likely your partner will be more than willing to be patient and understanding.
2. Listen to Each Other
Once you’ve shared your story and your feelings, it’s equally important to listen to what your partner has to say. If they’ve been feeling like your low sex drive is their fault, take the time to reassure them.
Your low sex drive might actually be the result of a lack of communication in your relationship. When you’re willing to open up more to each other, you can start to feel closer. That often brings back feelings of intimacy, which can lead to physical desire.
3. Draw Up a Plan
Remember that you and your partner are a team. If you’re struggling with a low sex drive and you’re not sure the reason, try to work out a plan together.
The first thing you should do is to get a medical exam. This can help to rule out any health issues that might be causing a decreased libido. If there aren’t any medical issues to address, you and your partner can work together to find ways to boost your drive and help you both to get “in the mood.”
Working out a plan together lets you know that there is hope for your sex life. Furthermore, it lets your partner know that you want to be with them (physically) and you’re willing to work to make sure that happens.
Talking about a low sex drive with your partner might not be an easy conversation. Undoubtedly, there will be some awkward moments. But, keeping the issue to yourself can create a serious strain in your relationship, especially if you’re not having sex and you haven’t for a long time.
If you’re struggling to talk to your partner, or you’ve told them about it already and you’re having trouble as a couple, feel free to contact us.
A low sex drive is nothing to be ashamed of. Yet, getting to the bottom of it and figuring out how to reestablish a healthy sex life in your relationship again is important. Together, we can work on ways to accomplish both.