You’re off work, but what do you have to talk about? Hopefully not work. Taking up too much time after work, rehashing the work day can leave you feeling stuck, tired, burnt out, and leave your partner unsure of how to help. This can create tension in your home and leave your partner wondering what he can talk to you about.
After a long work day, one of the biggest challenges can be refocusing your attention on your home life and away from work. We give work a great deal of attention and energy. Many of the people we see at work, we see more often than many of our friends. Therefore the tendency to talk about work is understandable. Also, because three out of our four basic emotions are negative, it is easy to focus on negativity and start complaining. This is what causes a problem when we start talking about work. When we talk about it, we tend to focus on the negatives of the day. It is easy to make this a habit.
It is fine to vent and debrief about your day, but focusing on this too much can be a problem. Before long you can end up perseverating on what happened in your work day and neglect the present. This can cause several problems. You may ignore your partner, get increasingly irritated about work, and dread going the next day.
There is nothing wrong with debriefing from your work day, as long as you set limits on this. View this time less as a time to complain, but rather a time where you can transition from home to work. I would recommend that this last no longer than an hour. If you find that you are struggling to find other things to talk about, then view this as a challenge to enhance your life outside of work. The result will be you enjoying the time that you are away from work, and no longer dreading that you have another workday ahead of you.