Counseling for Partners of Addicts
Are you in a relationship with an addict and wonder why you stay?
Has your partners behavior left you feeling like you’re not enough?
Does moving through this pain seem impossible?
As someone who is in a relationship with a person who is struggling with an addiction, it can be a very tough place to be. You know that you love your partner, and you know that you want to be there for them, but you also want to know that you don’t want to be hurt endlessly by their behavior. Whether it be a problem with sex addiction, or a problem with substance abuse, the journey can be very painful, complicated and confusing for you. This is why it’s important to have your own support through this difficult time.
Contact us today for help with the following:
- Discovery of pornography or sex addiction.
- Relationship with a partner who struggles with alcohol or drug use.
- Feelings of anger, anxiety, or grief that won’t subside or consume.
- Intimately opening up with your partner after betrayal.
- Coping with secrecy and lies.
- Betrayal, broken promises, and deceit as a result of sex addiction.
- Low self-worth, self-value, and self-esteem as a result of taking the responsibility for your partner’s addiction.
- The desire to forgive what can seem unforgivable.
We know that you’re not to blame.
You might have been others, including your partner, that you’re responsible for their acting out, or that you just should’ve changed something about yourself. We know that you’re not to blame for the behavior itself. However, we want to help you learn about the cycles of addiction so that you know how to best protect yourself, without having to live in a relationship of distrust and anxiety. Through participating in counseling, you’ll be able to set a tone for healing that you wouldn’t otherwise be able to set without these expectations.
You don’t have to do this alone.
The three C’s: Cause, Cure, and Control. Taking the sole responsibility for the addict’s addiction is placing the cause with YOU rather than with the internal factors that drive the addict’s addiction. This misplaced responsibility leads to you wanting to control the addict’s movements, associations, money, and compulsive behaviors. Or you change yourself into a person that at times you do not recognize with the hopes that this will be enough to satisfy your partner’s needs. Finally, you may be looking for the right treatment program, the magic pill, or the perfect combination of “something” that will cure all of the problems within them and stop their addiction. We understand the distrust, anxiety, fear, disappointment, and shame that are the insidious and destructive outcomes of self-blame. We can offer empathy, understanding, guidance, support, and the tools to help you with healing and recovering from this difficult time in your life.
We know that your needs, wants, and desires are valuable.
We will help you bring forward your needs, wants, and desires to strengthen your self-identity, strengthened purpose, and self-worth. These are nurtured through a strong system of boundaries. Together, we’ll work to identify your limits, expectations, and needs. This is challenging when you have lived within the tumultuous and volatile shadow of active addiction. Many parts of yourself can become lost or forgotten. We help you to rediscover and empower your voice again. We don’t judge, moralize, or minimize your experience. We foster a safe and brave zone that allows you to be authentic.
Many couples who contend with addiction never learn the best way to communicate about the problem.
Although it can be very challenging, by participating in counseling, you help to increase the odds that your relationship can reach a place of trust and commitment, as well as a place of prevention from relapse. Without counseling, you’re at an increased risk of avoiding topics and important discussions. Over time, this can relationship problems that are preventable through participating in therapy.
Counseling for Partners of Addicts is key to the recovery of the relationship.
In counseling, you’ll learn ways to talk about the very painful issue of addiction. Whether it be anger from betrayal, secrecy and lies, or curiosity about the best way to handle these circumstances, we can help. We’ll help you find confidence in your place in the relationship, cope with feelings of anger and resentment, and move through grief.
You can recover and recapture your life.
Although it can be very challenging, you can learn to regain your ability to trust your partner, believe in yourself, and have hope for your future. In our experience, there is a journey to recovery for the individual AND there is a journey to recovery for the couple. We have a holistic approach. Communication, honesty, loving bonds, working through conflicts, and learning how to be in a healthy relationship are the skills that we want to offer you and your partner.
Contact us today, we are here to support you.
Our therapists for Partners of Addicts
Heather Henry, LCSW, CCPS-C, CSAT-C