What is Sex Positive Couples Therapy & How can It Help You?
What does “sex positive” mean?
Sex positive simply means a respect for the millions of unique sexual orientations out there. Sex-positive therapy plays an important role, especially in Western culture, where the traditional view of sex is overwhelmingly negative and hierarchical.
Because sex is so wrapped up in our personal and cultural identities, our feelings about sex usually involve some kind of moral judgment, which is probably the last thing you’d want from a therapist. Sadly, it can be a bit of a challenge to find a sex-positive therapist. This is not necessarily due to moralizing, but simply because some therapists have not had much exposure to these issues in their practice, and are not confident in their ability to provide appropriate therapy. Admitting they might not be the right therapist for you is a sign of their respect for your concerns.
How to find a sex-positive therapist
Think about some background questions you might want to ask of a therapist over the phone, before making an appointment. While you might think a therapist should be free of bias, it’s important to ascertain their values and experience before investing time, money, and emotions in therapy sessions that could potentially be more troubling than helpful.
Be sure to ask value-oriented questions to gain an understanding of the therapist’s practice. Go ahead and ask if he or she is comfortable talking about kink. You’ll have to bring it up at some point, so you might as well begin now! Sex-positive therapist Dr. Marty Klein has a great sample question that covers a lot of bases: “Do you think monogamous, heterosexual, genitally-oriented sex is ultimately better than other consensual arrangements?”
How can sex-positive therapy help you
Everyone benefits from exploring their sexuality in a non-judgmental way. Sex-positive therapy affirms your sexuality, without making it the sole focus of your treatment. You can work out issues you have around sexuality, without being pressured to change your identity, or feeling that how you feel is “wrong.”
A sex- positive therapist is there to help you with more than just issues directly related to sex. Sometimes focusing too narrowly on sex leaves out other important aspects of your history and emotional profile.
Here are just a few issues sex-positive therapists can help with:
*Relationship issues, including relationships between “kinky” and “vanilla” people