3 Tips for Talking Openly About Sex with Your Partner

Sex is an integral part of any romantic, committed relationship. It doesn’t have to be the central focus, but, for most people, it does need to happen.

It’s okay if you and your partner have different sex drives or different needs and wants. What isn’t okay is not communicating about things.

Maybe you feel embarrassed to talk about your sex life, or perhaps you’re worried about how your partner might react. But, if you’re holding something back that you want to say, you’re only hurting yourself and your relationship by building communication barriers.

With that in mind, let’s look at three tips you can use to talk openly about sex with your partner.

1. Pick the Right Time and Place

Sex can be a sensitive subject in a relationship. So, make sure you pick the right time and place to talk to your partner about it. The last thing you want to do is blindside them by bringing it up “randomly.”

A good rule of thumb is to not talk about sexual issues in the bedroom, and certainly not just after having sex. That’s more than a mood killer—it can cause insecurities and discord in your relationship.

Let your partner know you’d like to talk with them soon about your sexual intimacy. Even if you have to schedule a time when you’re alone and won’t be distracted, it’s worth it to express yourself and make sure they’re listening.

2. Pick One Topic

Again, having a “sex talk” with your partner might not be anyone’s idea of fun. So, it can be tempting to talk about every issue you’re having in the bedroom in one conversation.

But try to stick to one topic at a time. Focus on one thing you’d like to change or one area of your sex life that isn’t working for you. You can always talk about more later. But, if you bring up several issues all at once, your partner might feel like you’re completely unsatisfied, and it can be a shock.

3. Suggest Something Different

It’s important not to complain when you’re talking with your partner about sex. Sure, you might have “complaints,” but try to phrase them as suggestions instead.

Start by telling your partner something positive about your sex life, like how you love cuddling together in bed after sex. Then, you could say something like, “it would be a huge turn-on for me if you would do this…”. The suggestion will come across a lot more pleasant than complaining to your partner about what they’re not doing.

You know your partner better than anyone. You certainly know your sex life better than anyone. So, use that knowledge to communicate in a way that works for your relationship. There isn’t just one way to tell your partner what you’d like. Be yourself and let it come naturally.

Learn More About Each Other’s Preferences

Everyone has their sexual style. Maybe you and your partner have the same one, or perhaps they’re entirely different. The “sex talk” shouldn’t just happen once. It should be an ongoing conversation.

Communication is a massive part of any successful relationship. That includes communicating about your intimate moments. So, agree to talk about your sexual styles, things you like and don’t like, and how you’d like to see your sex life throughout your relationship.

If you’re struggling with your sex life and you’re not sure how to bring it up to your partner, feel free to contact us to learn more or to set up an appointment. Together, we can work on more ways to open up and feel comfortable bringing the topic of your sex life with the one you love.