How to Avoid the 5 Most Common Relationship Mistakes
We all want to be successful in our relationships.
When a relationship has lost its strength and passion, we may turn to grand gestures as the solution. However, the most common relationship mistakes are ones that neglect the modes in which we communicate and support our partner.
These mistakes often appear in our day-to-day interactions and can seem normal in the relationship.
It is vital to consider these mistakes as you would a thorn in your palm. Though small, if left stuck in your hand, it can cause a lot of damage.
The 5 Most Common Relationship Mistakes
1. We neglect boundaries in our relationship
There is a misconception that a strong relationship is one where the partners share and sacrifice everything for one another. But think of, as a reference, the movie Twilight. Bella gives up her family, and her actually living self, in order to be with Edward. Now, of course, we’re not be turning into the undead for our loved ones, but we might be stepping over some boundaries that we had set in the past.
Most often, we find these broken boundaries to manifest as participating in sexual or lifestyle choices we don’t feel comfortable with, feeling our opinions must always match our partners or giving up something in our life for the benefit of our partner.
How to avoid the mistake: When boundary lines begin to bleed, we lose sight of our needs and can become resentful of our partners. Take time to re-examine and re-define what your boundaries are and then share them with your partner.
2. We criticize instead of raising concerns
Let’s say your partner is late to family dinner and didn’t call beforehand to inform you. In your frustration you begin bringing up issues from the past, making general or absolute claims about their character. You might shout, “You only care about yourself!”
How to avoid the mistake: The most effective way to communicate is by sticking to the issue at hand and attempt to look at the situation objectively. Talk about how the behavior made you feel and why it is important to you that the situation is handled differently next time. Your partner will feel less defensive and will be able to understand your complaint better.
3. We live separate lives
We are all busy. Between work, chores, fitness, and children, it is amazing that we find any energy for ourselves, let alone our partners. Eventually, we might find that we are living separate lives.
When we live separately, we are no longer participating in the things that strengthen a relationship such as seeking emotional support from our partners or making decisions together. The passion and bond between you and your loved one might begin to break down and you can be left feeling lonely and longing.
How to avoid the mistake: Try pursuing daily acts of intimacy such as texting flirty messages or taking time to say “I love you” at the end of the day. These little moments of intimacy will help keep you and your partner involved in each other’s lives.
4. We allowed an uneven power dynamic to develop in the decision making
Decision making should be a joint effort. But sometimes we find that our relationship has an uneven power dynamic. When this occurs, there often exists less respect for each other, growing resentment, and a greater frequency of miscommunication.
How to avoid the mistake: Work to correct this issue by finding better ways to communicate. Effective methods include active listening and presenting your argument as a suggestion rather than a command.
5. We stop looking for solutions to our problems
Our partners give us unconditional love. Taking advantage of that fact, we might not always dedicate as much of our problem-solving skills and energy to our relationships as we do to other areas of our life. Instead, we settle for temporary bandages and continue to have the same fight over and over again.
How to avoid the mistake: People in successful relationships recognize that most problems are solvable. They put energy into working towards the healthy solutions that propel the relationship forward.
Our relationship mistakes may not always be big acts of betrayal but rather everyday breakdowns of the basic elements of communication and support. By re-examining these fundamental components of your relationship, you can avoid mistakes and strengthen your connection.