What to Expect from Sex Addiction Therapy
Entering into sex addiction therapy can be one of the most intimidating and vulnerable decisions. Many come into therapy because they are at a crossroads in their relationship. If you’re one of these people, you might be invested in therapy, but not sure what to expect.
Good therapy for sex addiction will include the following:
1. Helping you determine whether you’re dealing with a sex addiction or not.
Sex addiction is one of those conditions that is controversial. Critics will say it doesn’t exist at all. There are others who will mistakenly call various, non-traditional arousal, non-heterosexual orientation identification, and non-cisgender identity an addiction. These things are not an addiction!
Therefore, sex positive sex addiction therapy always looks to ensure that there is a compulsive element to the behavior. We want to make sure that you are not just labeling yourself as an addict, because of shame or fear of who you are. We work with people on gender care, polyamory affirmation, sexual orientation affirming therapy, as well as BDSM and kink affirming therapy.
2. Helping you determine the lines and boundaries in your sexual relationships.
As you can see, we want to know if there’s a compulsive element to your behavior that has gotten out of control. However, you will be the one who decides what is healthy in your relationship. Therapy can help you process and ask yourself these questions. This can help you talk with your partner about your desires, but also help you identify for yourself what is and isn’t healthy.
This can seem overwhelming and even frustrating. Pop psychology and so-called experts have done a good job of marketing themselves on television and in literature. However, therapy is really about you identifying what you need and want.
That doesn’t mean we have no recommendations. Our most common advice is to promote consensual sex and relationships. This means stepping away from secrets and into authenticity. This is true of both partners of sex addicts, and sex addicts themselves.
3. Shame resiliency work.
As shame goes up, so does the risk of compulsive behavior. Despite this, we’re still taught that shame helps us avoid negative behaviors. This just isn’t true. Also, sex and shame almost always go hand-in-hand. Therefore, shame is an integral part to all addiction therapy. This is one of the reasons that we recommend sex addiction group therapy. In these settings, you can see that you’re not alone in what you’ve dealt with.
4. Healing your relationship
Your relationship can often heal with both people in the relationship making simple changes. Sex addiction therapy can offer you validation if you’ve been betrayed. It can also help you identify and hold to your boundaries moving forward. Even more importantly, it can help you learn how to talk about these things so that you can begin the process of reconnection.
5. Managing behavior problems
Obviously, you want to be able to manage your behavior, so that you don’t continue to struggle with deceit in your relationship. Sex addiction therapy can help you develop solid relapse prevention plans. This can help you find out what triggers you, and intervene with these things in an effective way.
6. Re-entering sexual connection
Sex can feel traumatizing and/or confusing if you’ve been cheated on or lied to. Re-entering this arena is important to do in a delicate way. Sex addiction therapy, as well as sex therapy can help with this. Your therapist can help you identify the best ways of reapproaching this, so that you have the best chances for success.
If you’re in need of help recovering from a sex addiction, please look for a qualified therapist. These therapist can help you identify the problem and deal with all of the situations that we listed above.
Don’t hesitate to contact us if we can be any help for your on your journey.