3 Tips for Making a Commitment to Changes with a Sexual Mismatch
Everyone has different desires and needs, especially when it comes to sharing intimacy. Even when you’re sexually mismatched with your partner, it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed.
But, it does mean you both have to work together to commit to changes if you want to make the relationship work.
Committing to agree to some changes in your sex life is a big step. You don’t want to compromise your personal beliefs, and you don’t want to do anything that makes you too uncomfortable.
So, how can you make a commitment to changes with a sexual mismatch in a healthy way that will work for you and benefit your relationship?
1. Talk About the Uncomfortable Topics
Sometimes, you may be more sexually matched than you think, but one (or both) partners are afraid to talk about what they truly want. You might think what you desire is taboo or that your partner may feel disinterested.
But, they could be thinking the same things about their sexual desires.
That’s why it’s so important to have an open, honest conversation about your desires The more open you are with your partner, the more likely it is you can come to some compromise on what to do.
2. Make a “Red Light” List
If you know that you’re sexually mismatched with your partner, but you want to make some changes, why not turn it into a little game? It can take some of the pressure off both of you, and you can learn what types of changes you’re both willing to make.
Write down all of your sexual desires and what you want, and have your partner do the same thing. Then, exchange lists. Using a “red light, green light” method, highlight the things you absolutely won’t do in red. Highlight the things you feel open to trying in yellow, and the things that may interest you in, in green. Then, hand the list back to your partner, and compare notes!
Sharing this list will give you both a clear indication of where you stand. Plus, it will clue your partner in on what you’re willing to compromise on with each other.
3. Make It a Two-Way Street
If you’re sincerely open to making changes to please your partner’s sexual desires, understand that it should never be a one-way street. That kind of commitment should come from both of you, so you can have mutual respect for what the other person wants and needs.
Making that kind of commitment to each other should never feel forced. You should never feel as though you’ve been coerced into doing something you don’t want to do. When both of you understand that, you’ll have a greater sense of trust and comfort with each other. That will allow you both to open up.
Keep in mind that you don’t have to make several massive changes all at once. If you’re willing to make one small change or meet in the middle somewhere, your sex life can build off of things like that. What might start as something uncomfortable to talk about can bring you closer as a couple.
If you’re still struggling with your partner’s desires and you think you’re too different in that department, don’t worry. There is always hope when both of you are willing to make changes.
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Feel free to contact us for more help or to discuss how you can overcome your sexual mismatch. Sexual intimacy is an essential part of any romantic relationship.
Just because you feel mismatched with your partner doesn’t mean that intimacy has to suffer. As long as you’re both willing to make some changes, you can have the sex life you want!
