Help! My Partner Isn’t Sexually Attracted to Me

Help! My Partner Isn’t Sexually Attracted to Me

Many aspects make up a successful relationship.

Physical and sexual attraction are only two components. But, they’re also very important ones.

When your partner doesn’t feel sexually attracted to you, it might not seem like a big deal at first. But, it can end up causing a world of unexpected problems for your relationship.

While you may be able to put the focus of your relationship on children, work, or other activities for a while, it doesn’t mean this problem will go away. Being sexually attracted to your partner is vital in a long-term, happy relationship.

What Happens When There is No Sexual Attraction?

A lack of sexual attraction from one person to their partner can lead to problems in other areas of your relationship. Some of these issues will be more obvious than others.

If you ignore a lack of physical attraction for too long, your relationship could face things like:

  • Poor sex life: Perhaps the most obvious side effect of this problem is a poor sex life. Some couples never have sex because of this issue, and it can go on for years.
  • Extramarital affairs: Even if other areas of your relationship seem okay, sexual attraction is important. If your partner isn’t attracted to you in this way, it’s not uncommon for an affair to occur.
  • Arguing about little things: You might find that your partner starts to pick fights with you. They tend to “nitpick” little things that no one else would notice.
  • Staying away from each other: Many couples avoid dealing with the uncomfortable situation or tension by staying away from each other as much as possible. Obviously, this isn’t going to solve anything in your relationship.
  • Withholding affection: Affection doesn’t always have to be sexual. But, if your partner doesn’t want to so much as hold your hand or give you a hug, your relationship will start to feel cold and unloving.

As you can imagine, these issues can have a severe impact on the overall health of a relationship. In some cases, they can even be emotionally damaging to one or both parties involved.

Can I Make My Partner More Attracted to Me?

So, how can make your partner more sexually attracted to you? One of the best things you can do is to try to get to the root of why they feel that way in the first place.

Talk to your partner about their feelings and why they feel that way. Ask them how they feel about your sex life, or what could be different or better.

It’s important not to accuse your partner. Instead of coming at them with “you” statements, stick to “I” statements. Let them know how their lack of sexual attraction to you makes you feel.

Sometimes, simply talking things out with your partner alleviates a great deal of stress. You can try things like going on a variety of dates. Or, talking about your sexual fantasies. Simply spending more quality time together can help the situation.

But, if the problem doesn’t seem to be getting better, you and your partner both may need to partake in couples counseling. Talking to a professional usually makes it easier to get to the bottom of these issues.

If you don’t feel sexually attracted to your partner anymore, or if your partner doesn’t feel that way about you, the relationship isn’t doomed.

But, some things do need to change. A therapist can help you avoid experiencing the potential issues listed above. The key is to recognize the problem and seek help sooner rather than later.

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