When They Refuse to Change: How to Know When to Get Out

No one wants to go through a messy breakup with someone. Ending a relationship is hard, heartbreaking, and can leave you second-guessing yourself in many ways.

Some people are also oblivious to the major issues going on in their relationship, and try to find justifications for them. Unfortunately, there are signs you need to pay attention to that can help you decide if you should get out.

A partner that is adding toxicity to your relationship and won’t change their ways can cause a lot of damage. It’s one thing if you’re both willing to work on your faults or issues with the relationship. But, if someone isn’t willing to put in the work or make necessary changes, it’s likely the union won’t last.

So, how can you be sure when it’s time to get out of the relationship and move forward?

They Don’t Make Your Relationship a Priority

It’s true that people show love in different ways, and they receive it in different ways. You and your partner may show love to one another differently. But, everyone needs and deserves time and attention from their romantic partner, no matter how busy life gets.

If you constantly feel like you’re the only one putting any effort into your relationship, it may be time to make a change.

Do you plan dates? Do you ask questions and share your own stories? Do you try to make your partner’s life easier and show a genuine interest in them?

And, do they do the same for you?

A relationship can’t be one-sided. If you’ve talked to your partner about making your union a priority and they still haven’t put forth the effort, it’s likely they never will.

They Don’t Show Love

Again, people show love and affection in different ways. But, if you genuinely don’t feel the love from your partner on a regular basis, it’s likely a sign that something is wrong. You shouldn’t have to convince your partner to love you.

As human beings, we want to feel loved and accepted. This is especially true when it comes to the people we’ve chosen to date, or even marry.

People in relationships need to understand how the other person receives love so they can provide it openly and frequently.

You Can’t Find a Reason to Stay

You may have seen old movies or television shows where someone creates a “pros and cons” list about dating someone. While that may not be so simple in the real world, there is some truth to its effectiveness.

If staying in your relationship has more negative than positives, it’s a good indicator that it’s time to get out. If you’re constantly fighting or trying to get them to do more, do better, be involved, etc., that’s probably taking up more of your time than laughing, doing things together, and showing affection.

It’s hard to let go, no matter how “bad” a relationship gets. But, if you have fewer reasons to fight for your relationship and you start to recognize that, it can be easier to move on.

Getting out of a bad relationship isn’t selfish or to cause hurt to the other person. By getting out when the relationship isn’t working, you’re doing something healthy for your mental and emotional state. You’re being honest with yourself, and you’re allowing your partner to be honest about the relationship, too.

In the end, getting out of a relationship when your partner refuses to change, gives you both the freedom to move forward and discover a better situation that works for both of you. As a result, you’ll both end up happier.

For support on deciding whether to stay or leave, please contact us today. I would like to help.