7 Brilliant Ways to Maintain Your Self-Esteem After a Breakup

Maintaining your self-esteem after breaking up with your significant other isn’t always easy. Regardless of the reason for the breakup, it can often put a damper on how you feel about yourself.

No one is perfect in a relationship. But taking all the blame for a breakup will only end up hurting you in the long run.

Instead, focus on boosting yourself up and keeping your self-esteem balanced after a split. When you’re able to do that, you can cope with the loss more effectively. It will also help you to move on with your life faster.

Not sure how to maintain your self-esteem after a breakup? Follow the tips listed here!

1. Practice Self-Care

If you want a quick boost to your esteem that can set a positive tone, do something to pamper or spoil yourself.

Get a massage, go to a spa, or take a trip with your friends. You can even do something less-extravagant like taking yourself out to a movie or getting lost in a great book for hours.

Taking care of yourself after a breakup is the best way to get back on track and feel more like yourself again. As a result, you’ll feel better about who you are as a person instead of who you were in that relationship.

2. Journal or Write a Letter

Even if you and your ex-partner had several intense discussions about your feelings, chances are you didn’t get out everything you needed to say.

As you may know, emotions sometimes mask your true feelings.

Writing down what you feel in a journal helps to purge some of those hidden feelings. You can even write a letter to your ex without actually sending it.

Putting your feelings on paper can feel like a huge weight being lifted off your shoulders. Refer back to your journal or unsent letter whenever you’re feeling down about the end of the relationship.

3. Commit to a Dating Sabbatical

It’s tempting to jump back into the dating world right away. Friends and family might even encourage it as a way to get over your ex quickly. But, it usually isn’t a good idea.

You need to give yourself time to fully process what happened in your relationship. That won’t happen in a few days. Likely, it will take longer than a few weeks.

By jumping into a new relationship, you’re setting yourself up for failure. It’s not fair to you or the person you choose to date.

4. Don’t Seek Them Out

In this world of social media, it’s easy to keep tabs on what or how your ex is doing. Doing this will only make you feel worse about yourself.

The minute you see them doing something fun, or even moving on with someone else, it can cause you to feel low all over again.

It’s okay to maintain a friendship with an ex. But, it’s a good idea to avoid “stalking” them on social media for a while. If that means blocking their accounts so you can’t see them, it’s worth it.

5. Fight the Urge to Take Words to Heart

Even though forgiveness is important, that doesn’t mean it’s easy to forget the things your ex may have said about you or to you. Other people, like their friends, may have chimed in too.

When someone says negative things about us, even if we know they aren’t true, it stings. We can then start to believe that there might be some truth behind it. Unfortunately, those statements stick with us long after they’ve been said.

Fight the urge to believe those things about yourself. The insults can creep back into your memory when you least expect it.

6. Return to your values

Our values are a reflection of the things that we really find important. Sometimes returning to what you identify as most important can help you feel more centered. You can identify what feels most in alignment in your life. Are you living your life in a way that reflects what you find most important? If not, you can’t make changes overnight. However, you can ask yourself what small daily changes are you willing to make to help you move towards your goals.

7. Get Extra Help

Counseling or therapy is very helpful for people who are having a hard time getting over a breakup. It’s also great for those who have lost a lot of their self-esteem due to the split.

Sometimes, talking to a professional makes it easy to work out what you’re feeling. From there, you can learn healthy and productive ways to harness those emotions and rebuild your sense of worth.

If you’re struggling to feel good about yourself after a bad breakup, it’s understandable. Thankfully, it doesn’t have to feel that way forever.

By using the suggestions listed here and getting help when you need it, you can maintain your self-esteem when a relationship is over, and get back to feeling like yourself again.

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4 Comments
  1. I really need help . It as not been easy for me

    • Hang in there, Rita. You are not alone. I too went through a break-up and am devastated. One week at a time, one day, one hour, one minute. It gets better, it just seems to take so long.

      Take care.
      Robert

  2. Hey there, Phillip. This article has some great advice but I find it a bit short for my taste. If you ever find the need to expand it, I don’t mind if you use the information from my article on Self-Esteem Issues After a Breakup: https://maxjancar.com/how-to-rebuild-your-self-esteem-after-a-breakup/

    I’d appreciate if you link back to my content if you use it, but it’s not necessary.

    Max

  3. My partner broke up with me a few days before Christmas. He did not trust me due to past circumstances as his last girlfriend cheated on him. I have only a couple of male friends but it crested problems as when he saw me talking to them
    He got very upset, starting asking a lot of questions and threatened to find out where they lived so he could punch them?? It was too much to take .. he told me ……and never cross paths with him again. ??? How does someone say they “ love you” then do this?